More Than An Asana Robot

Outside the Studio 37*F
Inside the Studio 99*F
Twelfth Class, Kelli leading


News from Kelli was that ZenSpot just received it's certification from the International Yoga Alliance which allows them, her and Michael, to begin teacher training. Wow! I am in my infancy as a chela (student) and I keep coming back to the idea of teaching.

I have wanted to be a teacher since some adult asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. There were some other options I had in the back of my mind, of course, but teaching has always been at the forefront. Teaching in the traditional sense, as in a school with desks and books and bells, was enjoyable when I was a teacher's aide at Argonne Elementary in San Francisco. I love and respect children so the job was easy to feel a natural affinity towards.

That was a longtime ago and going the route of university at my age does not appeal to me. I want quick results, before I get bored, because I am an Aries, which means I am impatient, but I am also a leader, and teaching is a career that Aries do well in. Aries are also energetic and extreme.

I'll find out more about ZenSpot's teacher training in January but let me remind myself right now: I am not ready for teacher training. I want to have a solid practice before I get involved with training. I want to study the philosophy and the eight limbs. I want to be more than an asana robot.

I'm still reading Yoga Beneath the Surface by Srivatsa Ramaswami and David Hurwitz. I'm having a hard time remembering the Sanskrit terms and following the depth of knowledge these guys are operating in. So I skipped to the asanas chapter (the Preface of the book invited me to skip around the chapters or follow straight through, whichever was right for me) because it's what I am familiar with. As I hear the Sanskrit terms more and more, I will pick it up, but I don't want to learn terms in a mechanical way; I need to understand by experience or example of real thought or action, not concept alone.

So...there was a moment when I thought I would not go to class this afternoon. My husband had my car and the roads had been icy. Suddenly it was a half an hour before class and I called him. He was home within a few minutes and I headed down to Oak Street.

Front row again! And I stripped my body of the tank tops that I have been drenching in sweat. Not easy. Like I've said, I have a belly-belly. It's not a giant, it's not 20-something. It's exactly what a 40 year old belly should look like. Well, I wore tiny strappy bra things and it felt like I sweated more today than ever before, but didn't have a tank clinging to my skin. Staring at yourself in a mirror for an hour with your body very exposed is a dance in a psychological soup of delight, embarrassment, ego, ego-freedom, joy, worthiness, fright, and so much more. Try it sometime.


When you find out who you are, don't stop searching.