Tuesday was also a very hard class with Kelli but I sure loved it!

Wednesday I met with XoXo over a beer (I don't normally drink beer!) and ate pupus while we socialized and talked yoga. She is one of the instructors at what used to be Tamarack. She subbed for Dave's class once and I was instantly soothed by her manner and voice. I started going to some of her classes and we felt we had a little connection (she also loves Ween). So it was fun. It was like a date. We talked about getting together on Solstice for 108 sun salutations.

Thursday I registered for Dave's 3 hour Welcoming Light workshop coming up on the 18th. I'm not exactly sure how much will be dedicated between asanas, philosophy and meditation. There are also satsangs scheduled (the Bhagavad Gita, the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Tantra, Yoga and the Buddha, the Ramayana and other spiritual modalities as they relate to yoga) and I will be attending on Monday morning.

Friday afternoon I was met by the darkened studio of ZenSpot. Doors locked. Once again I forgot about the different scheduling on Friday afternoons. I had spent the day on the computer, laundering the clothes, cleaning, I watched a dvd, cleaning out the chicken coop. After realizing there was to be no yoga for me, I went home to walk the dogs and made a potato, bacon leek, and gruyere soup and stuffed cabbage rolls.

Saturday, today, my husband and I went downtown to ZenSpot's holiday/anniversary party. There was olive oil tasting, drinks, sweets, crudites, bread and dips, a masseur, and live music. We missed the magician. It was interesting to me to see some familiar faces in a different light. Super Limber Girl is not as tall as I see her when we're in the studio.

Today I realized that I have to respect my position as a practitioner of physical yoga and that I started doing yoga to make myself, my back and shoulders, my body, feel better. And it has worked. There have been other benefits as well, like maintaining a much more positive mood and outlook, less fatigue, gaining better balance, focus, power, weight loss. If the spiritual quest becomes stronger for me, then I will hear it and listen, but recently I have been hope-expecting for a path of purity to grab me by the collar and slap me around, and I will suddenly be pure light. There is a correlation between Buddha and Patanjali and yoga, all stemming from India, but I am an American woman, and I am questioning how all of this fits together for me. Hence Dave's in-depth classes.

I am wondering whether I will stay with my grandma or my mom when i go home to SF next month. There is a Bikram studio on the same block as my grandma's house!

The season of materialism and Christ's birthday is in full swing. I want to understand what more there is.