July 9
I have an issue with “letting things go” in terms of my home because I really dislike seeing things go. Where do they go? When I donate things, are they mostly being thrown into a trash heap? Am I contributing to the expanse of the island of refuse that swims the ocean? Of course I am. It makes me feel anxious to know that I contribute to the problems of waste...even though I have been practicing mindful wastelessness for decades. I feel guilt about throwing thing away when I know so many people have so little, therefore I hold onto things because I might find a new owner.
It’s important for me to not allow my false justifications to keep me from letting go of stale objects. I need to get over the fact that my place in Western civilization in the 21st century is not going to make or break the environmental impact that the last 200 years has had. I can only hold myself responsible for what I have power to control.
Another serious issue I have is the multitude of art projects I have abandoned. The materials for these projects and the bones of the projects are weighing down my future because they hold me to the past like friends with their hands outstretched, wanting me to grasp onto them, saying, “Remember me?” but I have already moved on, and the artistic process/the relationship is over. I love the excitement of beginnings and I love to create, but I have the most difficult time completing projects after the initial glow of the concept has subsided. Then I end up with unfinished works that collectively turned into baggage.
Holding onto these unfinished projects creates a negative dialogue in the back of my mind about how I never finish anything, I failed because I didn’t finish, I wasted money buying materials, blah X 3. It’s important for that dialogue to stop now and for me to say, well, too bad I didn’t finish, the sun’s still comin’ up tomorrow. Guilt, go away.
Another area I want to look deeper at is the shed. But more than just looking deeper, I want to look through the shed. With two small areas of my home cleared, and lots of practice with other areas on the way, I will have the flow of discarding things once I get to the shed. It will be glorious and I am really looking forward to the process now, rather than dreading and ignoring it!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Meditation & Reflection: Thoughts following a 10 minute sit
July 6
"Ten minutes feel like s a loooong time right now." My timer went off and this was somehow surprising, that ten minutes was over so fast!
During my "one, now" mantra, which I have used for 13 years, I always get monkey chatter creeping in and today the chatter was limited to just a few issues rather than the huge array of things that come up generally. Possibly due to my fatigue.
This exercise of meditation showed me that one of the benefits I was receiving was a real opportunity to check in. Meditation may be seen as "checking out" since the outside world does, hopefully, get turned down or off, but I found that I was in fact taking inventory of my energy without the forethought or plan to do so.
One thing in particular that was different about this meditation was that I was not trying to plan anything. I could easily get myself back on track by following my "one, now" breathing rhythm after little moments of reflection upon the day.
A very nice break.
As I slipped deeper into the day’s second meditation lead by Dr Pflueger, my left leg slipped deeper into pain, pins, numbness and the right leg began to follow. Deeper, deeper we went...until the pain was so much that I had to pick up my leg from half lotus to let the blood back in. I broke the surface from deeper meditation.
Within the contrast of pain and the bliss upon re-entering the outside world, I heard, “Walking on sunshine,” as I floated down the sidewalk.
(Dr. Pflueger received his doctorate and master’s degrees in religious studies from the University of California at Santa Barbara. He holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of Washington, where he was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated magna cum laude. He has taught at the University of Wisconsin, California Polytechnic State University, and California State University-Long Beach. He specializes in South Asian religion, classical yoga philosophy, Indian philosophy, and classical Sanskrit. He has 27 articles on Hindu and Buddhist topics in the Oxford Dictionary of World Religions, (Oxford, 1997). Also from Oxford, he published a chapter in The Innate Capacity (1998), “Discriminating the Innate Capacity: Salvation Mysticism in Classical Samkhya-Yoga.” Other publications include The Bhagavad Gita for Contemporary American Religion (Macmillan, 2000) and in 2003 from Routledge Curzon (London) a chapter, “Dueling with Dualism: Revisioning the Paradox of Purusha and Prakiti, in Yoga: The Indian Tradition.” More recent publications include “Person, Purity, and Power in the Yogasūtra,” for Essays on the Theory and Practice of Yoga, Knut Jacobson, Ed. (Brill 2005), and a forthcoming article, “Ishvara,” for The Encyclopedia of Religion (Macmillan). In the summer of 2007, Dr. Pflueger was chosen to participate in the Freeman Foundation Summer Institute on Japan, for intensive study of Japanese language and culture at Tokai University in Honolulu, Hawaii. Dr. Pflueger is presently focusing on a research project titled The 1000 Names of the All-pervasive God Vishnu. He is a member of the American Academy of Religion, Phi Kappa Phi, and Phi Beta Kappa, and serves as faculty advisor for Truman State University’s Art of Living (yoga) Club and the DEPTHS Club. An intense, knowledgeable instructor. Intimidating to the likes of me.)
"Ten minutes feel like s a loooong time right now." My timer went off and this was somehow surprising, that ten minutes was over so fast!
During my "one, now" mantra, which I have used for 13 years, I always get monkey chatter creeping in and today the chatter was limited to just a few issues rather than the huge array of things that come up generally. Possibly due to my fatigue.
This exercise of meditation showed me that one of the benefits I was receiving was a real opportunity to check in. Meditation may be seen as "checking out" since the outside world does, hopefully, get turned down or off, but I found that I was in fact taking inventory of my energy without the forethought or plan to do so.
One thing in particular that was different about this meditation was that I was not trying to plan anything. I could easily get myself back on track by following my "one, now" breathing rhythm after little moments of reflection upon the day.
A very nice break.
As I slipped deeper into the day’s second meditation lead by Dr Pflueger, my left leg slipped deeper into pain, pins, numbness and the right leg began to follow. Deeper, deeper we went...until the pain was so much that I had to pick up my leg from half lotus to let the blood back in. I broke the surface from deeper meditation.
Within the contrast of pain and the bliss upon re-entering the outside world, I heard, “Walking on sunshine,” as I floated down the sidewalk.
(Dr. Pflueger received his doctorate and master’s degrees in religious studies from the University of California at Santa Barbara. He holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of Washington, where he was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated magna cum laude. He has taught at the University of Wisconsin, California Polytechnic State University, and California State University-Long Beach. He specializes in South Asian religion, classical yoga philosophy, Indian philosophy, and classical Sanskrit. He has 27 articles on Hindu and Buddhist topics in the Oxford Dictionary of World Religions, (Oxford, 1997). Also from Oxford, he published a chapter in The Innate Capacity (1998), “Discriminating the Innate Capacity: Salvation Mysticism in Classical Samkhya-Yoga.” Other publications include The Bhagavad Gita for Contemporary American Religion (Macmillan, 2000) and in 2003 from Routledge Curzon (London) a chapter, “Dueling with Dualism: Revisioning the Paradox of Purusha and Prakiti, in Yoga: The Indian Tradition.” More recent publications include “Person, Purity, and Power in the Yogasūtra,” for Essays on the Theory and Practice of Yoga, Knut Jacobson, Ed. (Brill 2005), and a forthcoming article, “Ishvara,” for The Encyclopedia of Religion (Macmillan). In the summer of 2007, Dr. Pflueger was chosen to participate in the Freeman Foundation Summer Institute on Japan, for intensive study of Japanese language and culture at Tokai University in Honolulu, Hawaii. Dr. Pflueger is presently focusing on a research project titled The 1000 Names of the All-pervasive God Vishnu. He is a member of the American Academy of Religion, Phi Kappa Phi, and Phi Beta Kappa, and serves as faculty advisor for Truman State University’s Art of Living (yoga) Club and the DEPTHS Club. An intense, knowledgeable instructor. Intimidating to the likes of me.)
Dosha Discovery
July 4
Hey, another pitta dosha here! Even though I selected "dry, brittle, frizzy" hair, a pitta's hair would have a tendency to grey or thin early. Then I remembered losing about a third of my hair in one day, in my 30's. Whoa. And yes, I can eat anything, any time, though I have the sense not to do so (usually). I am very precise, detail oriented, and I function best in an organized environment, though my desk in complete chaos. I have always been told I would be/am a good leader (my natal sun sign) but I have mixed feelings about that because of my lack of discipline. My skin has always been very sensitive to chemicals, insects and other irritants; I blush amazingly easy, and as you have all seen, I am as red as a beet in class! I would rather buy anything of great quality than of luxury, a lesson in moderation that I have integrated into my type. I can seem quiet at times because I am selective with what I feel needs to be shared. I do not have a tendency to speak just to fill the silence. And yes, I have always been prone to irritability.
doshaquiz.chopra.com/
Hey, another pitta dosha here! Even though I selected "dry, brittle, frizzy" hair, a pitta's hair would have a tendency to grey or thin early. Then I remembered losing about a third of my hair in one day, in my 30's. Whoa. And yes, I can eat anything, any time, though I have the sense not to do so (usually). I am very precise, detail oriented, and I function best in an organized environment, though my desk in complete chaos. I have always been told I would be/am a good leader (my natal sun sign) but I have mixed feelings about that because of my lack of discipline. My skin has always been very sensitive to chemicals, insects and other irritants; I blush amazingly easy, and as you have all seen, I am as red as a beet in class! I would rather buy anything of great quality than of luxury, a lesson in moderation that I have integrated into my type. I can seem quiet at times because I am selective with what I feel needs to be shared. I do not have a tendency to speak just to fill the silence. And yes, I have always been prone to irritability.
doshaquiz.chopra.com/
Yamas & Niyamas Reflection
July 4
Yamas are renunciations to be embraced or given away. Niyamas are practices to be cultivated or taken in.
Applying the yamas and niyamas to life, teaching and practice are intertwined and are really the same thing. Even without being fully aware of them, I have sought these standards of being and behaving as a model to follow for my own well-being, and also as an example that it truly possible to be the change we want to see in the world.
Right now, I need to have compassion for myself (ahimsa): I can’t seem to move beyond the difficulty I had with leading my group through one asana. I would love to cultivate some santosha (appreciation, faith, contentment) for the work that I did accomplish today. So now I make the choices...
and study more!
Yamas are renunciations to be embraced or given away. Niyamas are practices to be cultivated or taken in.
Applying the yamas and niyamas to life, teaching and practice are intertwined and are really the same thing. Even without being fully aware of them, I have sought these standards of being and behaving as a model to follow for my own well-being, and also as an example that it truly possible to be the change we want to see in the world.
Right now, I need to have compassion for myself (ahimsa): I can’t seem to move beyond the difficulty I had with leading my group through one asana. I would love to cultivate some santosha (appreciation, faith, contentment) for the work that I did accomplish today. So now I make the choices...
and study more!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Autumn Detox Cleanse, Day Four
Inspired by Yoga Journal magazine, I have been participating in a week long detox cleanse. It involves eating only Ayurvedic kitchari, drinking herbal tea and vegetable broth, taking an Ayurvedic blend of herbs, practicing yoga, meditation, and massage. Uddiyana breathing, using the neti pot and nasal oil are part of the cleanse but yet to be practiced.
This morning I started with a powerful Varjasattya meditaion by Chandra Easton, teacher of Hatha yoga, Tibetan Buddhist meditation, and philosophy. This was a very active meditation in the sense that engaging in visualization was the journey, rather than breath awareness alone. Meditation has been an amazing way to connect to myself, the outside world, the Universe, to it All. I can see how the ten day Vipassana Meditation retreats taught by S. N. Goenka has become so interesting to me.
The next four day of the cleanse will be different than the last three in terms of my space. I had been working and was surrounded by food at all times. When I walked into the break room and a hunk of French brie was enticing me, I had little problem avoiding a nice buttery bite. I was totally aware of my sensation of desire and my will. I will not be working for the next three days so I won't have the distraction of endless food but I need to remember to rest and take it easy.
Proudly I have not strayed from the cleansing diet. The kitchari is delicious and the cilantro chutney is a life saver. I have included raw, fresh, organic fruit and veggies when the monotony of kitchari, tea, and broth has bored me. I feel hunger pangs from time to time but I feel so grateful that I am eating! Fasting has never been my thing. I have not been able to go without nourishment for more than a day and a half. I find it tortuous, then I carry guilt. This cleanse is more my style.
Next week, Dave will be in town from LA to teach a few yoga classes. I will be going to the Grateful Dead inspired class taking place right before Furthur plays live at the Cuthbert Theater. I wish I were attending the show but I donated my ticket money to a friend for her mother's cremation expenses. Her mom's birthday would have been today.
I'm getting hungry now. First, an abhyanga massage with almond oil, jojoba oil, and ylang ylang and lavender essential oils to soothe and enhance detoxification. Then a warm shower, some kitchari and triphala herbs...reading, a nap, some yoga...be it a joyous day.
This morning I started with a powerful Varjasattya meditaion by Chandra Easton, teacher of Hatha yoga, Tibetan Buddhist meditation, and philosophy. This was a very active meditation in the sense that engaging in visualization was the journey, rather than breath awareness alone. Meditation has been an amazing way to connect to myself, the outside world, the Universe, to it All. I can see how the ten day Vipassana Meditation retreats taught by S. N. Goenka has become so interesting to me.
The next four day of the cleanse will be different than the last three in terms of my space. I had been working and was surrounded by food at all times. When I walked into the break room and a hunk of French brie was enticing me, I had little problem avoiding a nice buttery bite. I was totally aware of my sensation of desire and my will. I will not be working for the next three days so I won't have the distraction of endless food but I need to remember to rest and take it easy.
Proudly I have not strayed from the cleansing diet. The kitchari is delicious and the cilantro chutney is a life saver. I have included raw, fresh, organic fruit and veggies when the monotony of kitchari, tea, and broth has bored me. I feel hunger pangs from time to time but I feel so grateful that I am eating! Fasting has never been my thing. I have not been able to go without nourishment for more than a day and a half. I find it tortuous, then I carry guilt. This cleanse is more my style.
Next week, Dave will be in town from LA to teach a few yoga classes. I will be going to the Grateful Dead inspired class taking place right before Furthur plays live at the Cuthbert Theater. I wish I were attending the show but I donated my ticket money to a friend for her mother's cremation expenses. Her mom's birthday would have been today.
I'm getting hungry now. First, an abhyanga massage with almond oil, jojoba oil, and ylang ylang and lavender essential oils to soothe and enhance detoxification. Then a warm shower, some kitchari and triphala herbs...reading, a nap, some yoga...be it a joyous day.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
First Step: Touching Enlightenment
The first day as a group, the students of The ZenSpot Institute for Hot Yoga Teacher Training met last night and went over logistics, expectations, we introduced ourselves, and listened to an interview with Reginald Ray.
www.dharmaocean.org
I was my regular nervous self before heading down to orientation but that feeling drained away as I was filled with excitement and moved by the energy in the room. To be surrounded by glowing, healthy, vibrant people is still new to me. I want to associate myself with these kinds of people: people that recognize the goodness in life and who want to share wellness and joy.
The single word that came to mind after hearing the interview with Reginald Ray during our class this evening came from a deep, Universal voice and it asked, “Remember?”
Remember what it feels like to press the entire back of your body to the trunk of a tree and as the wind made music with the tree’s leaves, your breath and the breath of the tree became one? That sense of awareness and peace is spirituality.
Remember what it’s like to ride on the back of a motorcycle through the mountains while the rain blessed you, showing you that the destination and your destiny were the same?
Remember the monk that didn’t speak in your language but everything that was said was understood?
Moments of clarity.
The relevance of my journey/training and what I heard from Mr. Ray’s meet when I open my true heart and allow the Real world to be now, and to accept that the many forces opposing the Real world are distractions from love, from spirituality, from being “just human.”
While listening to the interview, I asked myself what I visualized while I meditated and wondered what others see or visualize. Almost exclusively, it is a replication of nature that I create: a specific beach, a color, an individual. In this way, I know that our deepest connections are to nature and it is in the natural world that I dwell when I am my true self.
Remember when the idea of yourself and your real self met, shook hands and promised to be one?
www.dharmaocean.org
I was my regular nervous self before heading down to orientation but that feeling drained away as I was filled with excitement and moved by the energy in the room. To be surrounded by glowing, healthy, vibrant people is still new to me. I want to associate myself with these kinds of people: people that recognize the goodness in life and who want to share wellness and joy.
The single word that came to mind after hearing the interview with Reginald Ray during our class this evening came from a deep, Universal voice and it asked, “Remember?”
Remember what it feels like to press the entire back of your body to the trunk of a tree and as the wind made music with the tree’s leaves, your breath and the breath of the tree became one? That sense of awareness and peace is spirituality.
Remember what it’s like to ride on the back of a motorcycle through the mountains while the rain blessed you, showing you that the destination and your destiny were the same?
Remember the monk that didn’t speak in your language but everything that was said was understood?
Moments of clarity.
The relevance of my journey/training and what I heard from Mr. Ray’s meet when I open my true heart and allow the Real world to be now, and to accept that the many forces opposing the Real world are distractions from love, from spirituality, from being “just human.”
While listening to the interview, I asked myself what I visualized while I meditated and wondered what others see or visualize. Almost exclusively, it is a replication of nature that I create: a specific beach, a color, an individual. In this way, I know that our deepest connections are to nature and it is in the natural world that I dwell when I am my true self.
Remember when the idea of yourself and your real self met, shook hands and promised to be one?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Latin, Sanskrit, English...brain, body, spirit.
Somehow I was limber and relaxed and capable enough in class yesterday to do Kurmasana with my upper arms slid back under my thighs and palm facing the sky. It was another great hot yoga class: feeling myself open a little more, getting deeper, focused and strong. And perfectly imperfect. Each day is different, is new, and what I could do yesterday only influences what I can do today, never dictates it.
I'm working on figuring out asanas to optimize the different systems of the body. It's easy to to say that a particular asana is good for this or that. Not as easy to state why. It's coming along, though.
One week left of work and then it's full-time training with my amazing instructors and the beautiful group of other students!
I'm working on figuring out asanas to optimize the different systems of the body. It's easy to to say that a particular asana is good for this or that. Not as easy to state why. It's coming along, though.
One week left of work and then it's full-time training with my amazing instructors and the beautiful group of other students!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)