Autumn Detox Cleanse, Day Four

Inspired by Yoga Journal magazine, I have been participating in a week long detox cleanse. It involves eating only Ayurvedic kitchari, drinking herbal tea and vegetable broth, taking an Ayurvedic blend of herbs, practicing yoga, meditation, and massage. Uddiyana breathing, using the neti pot and nasal oil are part of the cleanse but yet to be practiced.

This morning I started with a powerful Varjasattya meditaion by Chandra Easton, teacher of Hatha yoga, Tibetan Buddhist meditation, and philosophy. This was a very active meditation in the sense that engaging in visualization was the journey, rather than breath awareness alone. Meditation has been an amazing way to connect to myself, the outside world, the Universe, to it All. I can see how the ten day Vipassana Meditation retreats taught by S. N. Goenka has become so interesting to me.

The next four day of the cleanse will be different than the last three in terms of my space. I had been working and was surrounded by food at all times. When I walked into the break room and a hunk of French brie was enticing me, I had little problem avoiding a nice buttery bite. I was totally aware of my sensation of desire and my will. I will not be working for the next three days so I won't have the distraction of endless food but I need to remember to rest and take it easy.

Proudly I have not strayed from the cleansing diet. The kitchari is delicious and the cilantro chutney is a life saver. I have included raw, fresh, organic fruit and veggies when the monotony of kitchari, tea, and broth has bored me. I feel hunger pangs from time to time but I feel so grateful that I am eating! Fasting has never been my thing. I have not been able to go without nourishment for more than a day and a half. I find it tortuous, then I carry guilt. This cleanse is more my style.

Next week, Dave will be in town from LA to teach a few yoga classes. I will be going to the Grateful Dead inspired class taking place right before Furthur plays live at the Cuthbert Theater. I wish I were attending the show but I donated my ticket money to a friend for her mother's cremation expenses. Her mom's birthday would have been today.

I'm getting hungry now. First, an abhyanga massage with almond oil, jojoba oil, and ylang ylang and lavender essential oils to soothe and enhance detoxification. Then a warm shower, some kitchari and triphala herbs...reading, a nap, some yoga...be it a joyous day.

First Step: Touching Enlightenment

The first day as a group, the students of The ZenSpot Institute for Hot Yoga Teacher Training met last night and went over logistics, expectations, we introduced ourselves, and listened to an interview with Reginald Ray.
www.dharmaocean.org

I was my regular nervous self before heading down to orientation but that feeling drained away as I was filled with excitement and moved by the energy in the room. To be surrounded by glowing, healthy, vibrant people is still new to me. I want to associate myself with these kinds of people: people that recognize the goodness in life and who want to share wellness and joy.

The single word that came to mind after hearing the interview with Reginald Ray during our class this evening came from a deep, Universal voice and it asked, “Remember?”

Remember what it feels like to press the entire back of your body to the trunk of a tree and as the wind made music with the tree’s leaves, your breath and the breath of the tree became one? That sense of awareness and peace is spirituality.

Remember what it’s like to ride on the back of a motorcycle through the mountains while the rain blessed you, showing you that the destination and your destiny were the same?

Remember the monk that didn’t speak in your language but everything that was said was understood?

Moments of clarity.



The relevance of my journey/training and what I heard from Mr. Ray’s meet when I open my true heart and allow the Real world to be now, and to accept that the many forces opposing the Real world are distractions from love, from spirituality, from being “just human.”

While listening to the interview, I asked myself what I visualized while I meditated and wondered what others see or visualize. Almost exclusively, it is a replication of nature that I create: a specific beach, a color, an individual. In this way, I know that our deepest connections are to nature and it is in the natural world that I dwell when I am my true self.

Remember when the idea of yourself and your real self met, shook hands and promised to be one?

Latin, Sanskrit, English...brain, body, spirit.

Somehow I was limber and relaxed and capable enough in class yesterday to do Kurmasana with my upper arms slid back under my thighs and palm facing the sky. It was another great hot yoga class: feeling myself open a little more, getting deeper, focused and strong. And perfectly imperfect. Each day is different, is new, and what I could do yesterday only influences what I can do today, never dictates it.

I'm working on figuring out asanas to optimize the different systems of the body. It's easy to to say that a particular asana is good for this or that. Not as easy to state why. It's coming along, though.

One week left of work and then it's full-time training with my amazing instructors and the beautiful group of other students!

B Through

Transformation magnified by having spent the dawn hours reading Ray Long's book, The Key Muscles of Yoga, from my reading list for ZenSpot Institute for Hot Yoga Teacher Training Program. Trying to grasp new Latin vocabulary and remembering anatomy spun my head into a few knots, but connecting the book's words and pictures to my own body and experience while in a 75 minute class this afternoon was an amazing breakthrough.

And there's something happening in the Universe today...a lunar eclipse...eee clllipssss. Say it.

What I've read on another site by an anonymous writer is this, "...the South Node is in conjunction with the Sun, getting enlightened by it, and the Moon is in conjunction with the North Node, bringing to the surface our deepest aspirations and intuitions toward our spiritual meaning in this life...the North Node’s conjunction with the Moon makes us receptive to many aspects that are connected to our spiritual meaning and path in this life, awakening our spiritual “instincts” on the way." A lunar eclipse is the chance to suddenly become conscious of our nature and to understand and control it, to get control over the “beast” of our own limitations, becoming stronger and closer to our divine nature.

Awoke from a nightmare during the dark hours of morning. Terrible rejection, past fears, abandonment issues surfacing from a deep and neglected place. Is this connected to the eclipse, my excited fear about the training program, or something deeper?

Belly Full of Butterflies

I just jumped on the fast track to becoming a hot yoga instructor. First, I had to secure funds (not an easy task by any means), I applied, was accepted, I put a deposit down, and required books are on the way.

When I have the feeling that the yoga world is where I belong, I know I'm right. The many friends I've made in my classes have been so kind, supportive and positive, and these qualities are truly important to me on my journey.

Today I scheduled three weeks off from my job, I opened an account for my school funds, and I borrowed a laptop computer.

I am really going for it!

Not totally sure how our money situation will look in a month but I trust that everything will work out. It will be hard. It may be stressful. It is scary.

Taking healthy risks is part of growth.

With more than forty hours of asana practice since I last wrote, I am very hopeful to have the opportunity to join the teacher training program offered by ZenSpot Institute for Hot Yoga. I attended the open house/info meeting last night and genuinely felt an affinity for the people I knew there, the energy, and the goals of my instructors, Kelli and Michael. I have had this training on my mind since I heard about it in early December. I was very disappointed when I spoke about the cost and our financial ability with my husband since I would have to put my little dream on hold until we paid down some debt. I hate rational financing. I'm trying to get some support to pay for the program and if the universe wants me to be there, I will be there.

First Day Back

This was a rough one. Haven't been in a class since Tuesday, the 21st, Solstice. I was so sore on Wednesday that I skipped hot yoga and donated blood instead. I was very weak on Thursday and still sore so I didn't go to class. No classes scheduled at ZenSpot on Friday or the weekend. Finally I ventured to class today, still congested in the head.

Just my luck, it was a 75 minute class! Twenty-two people sweatin' it up. I can clearly see that some of my strength and balance have diminished during my time away. No worries. I will spend this week as a devoted yogini.

Got an email about satsang with Dave happening in January. I won't be in town so I have the excuse of not attending but in the future, I know I'm not that interested in learning the scriptures etc at this time.

So my advice to myself for the future is this: Do not overdo it! Do not spend 3 and 1/2 hours doing asanas, then 108 sun salutations, donate blood, continue working, and then expect yourself to celebrate the holidays without coming down with something like a cold!